Is there a salacious sex tape of divine straight Christian sex stud Madison Cawtorn?

The Aryan rebel Madison Cawthorn started last night releasing strange videos of him speaking to his constituents, telling them everything was rigged against him and that the evil mainstream media was waging unjust wars against his innocent self. He talked about the lingerie photo and claimed that the entire media is obsessed with it and is talking like it’s a kind of DRAG QUEEN on the side.

Which was weird, because the media didn’t really care about that photo, and when it came out, everyone’s collective reaction was like “hennnghhhhh?” and also “Wow, the Republican opponents of Cawthorn really hate him.”

Cawthorn, because he’s a parody of himself, said he doesn’t expect anything better from Politico, who posted the photo of the lingerie, because “He’s Politico after all, not quite the same journalistic standards as Fox or Newsmax.”

And then he defended himself once again from the alleged salacious videos of him allegedly doing gay stuff with a man’s hand near his groin, because after all, gentle gentlemen, he and his friend were just being foolish, and that man is not his friend, that is his cousin! And we thought to ourselves, “Sir, she’s a right-wing conservative Christian from the mountains of western North Carolina. ‘She’s not gay if she’s my cousin’ is not a sentence construction you want to achieve. everywhere near.”

But again, when those weird videos came out, “the media” didn’t think of anything, except once again, Cawthorn’s GOP opponents. I really want to bring this guy down. You see, these alleged “salacious” things are not “salacious” to anyone but a sexually repressed conservative Christian loser, the Cawthorn constituency. The only people who would see these photos and say anything other than “Christ, what a fucking idiot” are the kind of abandoning Jesus camp evangelical whose votes Cawthorn needs in the GOP primaries.

And it’s clear: his GOP opponents you despise him. And oh boy, the Republican politicians seem really crazy HEY talked about coke orgies!

In any case, there is a “dry” tape of Cawthorn now, and he’s also defending himself from the one in the video above. It is not a sex tape. It’s stupid that Madison is stupid again with her stupid cousin. Just two men who are emotionally nine-year-olds who are emotionally nine, and they are rough.

It has been released since Madison Cawthorn fires website, which is extremely dramatic and acts as if it has stumbled upon the political pornographic tape of the century. “This video includes nudity. The video should not be watched with children, anyone who is offended by the nudity or anyone who is prone to fainting when seeing a naked congressman. Watch the video at your own risk. It’s not cute.” Everything. You can watch it. He’s stupid as hell.

Again, this is not political defamation directed at ordinary people. The “media” don’t really care.

Of course, Madison, tell us everything.

Yep, honestly, at this point we’re starting to wonder if Madison is leaking these videos and pictures of himself, in a desperate attempt to convince the world that he’s a cool guy who’s had sex before.

Like Amanda Marcotte wrote about the last thing, the thing that touches the groin:

The alleged groin touching video is actually more of a leg touching video, only really scandalous for men so homophobic who think any physical contact between men will make them gay. But for people living inside the conservative media bubble, this sort of thing could easily be read as satanic decadence.

yes Of course, Madison, tell us how all of this is the work of the liberal devil’s fake news. It is very convincing.

In the video above, Cawthorn also responds to some of the other very unfair attacks against him, such as the very real fact that has been captured with a loaded gun at the airport and whatnot. You can watch it if you’re just bored to death or something. Or you can skip it altogether. It does not matter.

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