Logan Steinwede death: Brother Jaxson speaks out after tragic suicide
At just 24 years old, Jaxson Steinwede is struggling to deal with the loss of his younger brother, Logan, to suicide.
Logan is the son of top real estate agent Mat Steinwede and Katrina Foran, who married NRL great Kieran Foran.
Logan’s uncle is Parental Guidance host Dr Justin Coulson, who announced the news of his nephew’s passing in a devastating social media post.
The 20-year-old was staying at his grandparents’ house last week, with Dr Coulson saying it was “too late to help” when they found him on Monday morning and discovered what had happened.
“Too late to do anything except scream ‘No’. Too late for him to hear them as they cried his name over and over again: ‘Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan!’ ‘No, no, no, no, no!!!!’”
Jaxson is now stuck trying to navigate a world without his younger brother, something that he never thought he would have to do.
Logan was a budding surfer who had amassed almost 30,000 followers on Instagram and, on the surface, it looked like he was living the Australian dream.
He was sun-kissed, athletic and frequently posted about his family. He was the middle child of seven on his dad’s side and had inherited two other siblings when his mother remarried.
It looked like he had everything, but behind closed doors he was struggling – something that he never told his brother.
In the past, Jaxson struggled with mental health issues himself, which led him to attempt suicide when he was just 20. But he didn’t think his brother was suffering in the same way.
“He was abusing alcohol a bit, but he is 20. I just thought he was young,” he told news.com.au.
Sure, he thought his younger brother was partying a bit too much and drinking more than he should, but he was also young and it felt more like a rite of passage than a warning sign.
“I never thought it was that bad,” he said.
Jaxson knows what it is like to survive a suicide attempt and the feeling of being grateful you weren’t successful.
“I still can’t believe how stupid I was and what I could have done to my family,” he said.
This point has really hit hard now that Logan is gone and he has seen how it has impacted his family.
“Everyone’s blaming themselves, and I didn’t see it coming,” he said.
Sadly, Jaxson believes that his past with mental illness may have stopped Logan from feeling like he could confide in him.
“He could have thought it was a touchy subject,” he said.
The 24-year-old is also struggling with regret. Like most siblings, the brothers fought now and again and, at the time of Logan’s death, they weren’t speaking.
“We’d had some brother beef. I always thought, one day, we will get over it. Now, we can’t. That’s the hardest thing,” he said.
Jaxson believes one of the reasons he lost his brother is because men struggle to talk about their feelings, something the 24-year-old is now experiencing first-hand. Sure, his mates want to be there for him, but no one knows what to say.
“It is like talking to a brick wall. What I’ve found trying to talk to my mates now is that they don’t know what to say,” he explained to news.com.au.
“They get all weird and awkward,” he revealed.
Jaxson understands though, because his brother’s death has taught him that he doesn’t know how to talk about it either, especially with mates.
Whenever he does want to talk about his feelings, he rings his mum, nan, or one of his sisters.
He thinks this speaks to the problem with male culture in general; if he wants to talk about things, he turns to the women in his life.
“They’ll ask how I’m feeling, whereas my dad, he is amazing, but in the past, if I’ve spoken to him, it has always been ‘hit the gym, be tough about it, move forward’,” he said.
Jaxson said that Logan’s death has already changed the way he talks about his emotions and feelings.
“I used to be afraid to cry in front of my mates, but I don’t care very much anymore – it’s been a huge wake-up call,” he said.
For Jaxson, he knows there is a lot of conversation around men’s mental health, but he doesn’t think there’s always much else.
“Lots of people say talk to your mates, no one actually does it. It’s just what everyone says. You need to actually check in,” he said.
Jaxson thinks that, while there’s a culture now of saying men should talk more, when it comes down to it, not much has changed.
“When it actually comes to it, men are afraid of looking weak and people don’t know what to say next if you aren’t OK. I don’t even really know what to say,” he said, adding that he had booked in to speak with a psychologist.
“I just want my brother back,” he said.
Clinical psychologist Dr Rebecca Ray said that the fact suicide is the leading cause of death for young people in Australia speaks to our ‘harden up’ culture.
“I think for men in particular – and this speaks to cultural conditioning and despite the fact we have the ‘R U Okay’ days – it is still not entirely acceptable for young men to speak about their feelings,” she said.
Dr Ray said that, for things to change, there needs to be a culture shift and more education around the subject of mental health.
“This is about people getting comfortable about having the hard conversations and not just asking the question, but being able to handle the answer,” she said.
“There also needs to better understanding what resources make a difference when you get an answer that’s ‘No, I’m not OK’.”
Originally published as Jaxson Steinwede reveals the reality of losing his younger brother Logan to suicide